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After divorce: Ways to reinvent yourself

It's over. The papers are signed, and the union is dissolved. The relationship that once may have been the joy of your life is officially over.

In Arizona, just as in every other state, divorce stories are distinct and varied. A divorce is a death of a relationship. Consider some tips by therapists that can help you reconcile your emotions and get on with your life as a single person.

Allow yourself to grieve, but do not delay the process for too long. This can result in mounting fees involving other professionals who may be instrumental in finalizing the process. Consider having a mediator, one that will allow you to be a hands-on negotiator. That places you in control.

Some experts feel that we dwell on past "mistakes" and get stuck in thinking what we might have done differently. It is normal to give yourself some time to process and digest what has transpired. Look ahead and not backwards. Focus on the hope ahead.

While you may be a social media addict, try to avoid them. Too much personal information is put out there for everyone to see. The Internet exposes your personal business to millions of viewers. These can get out of control, become embarrassing and even lead to more legal problems.

Allow the professionals to do their jobs and trust them. They will guide you and help you to move on and start a fresh life. Your mediators and legal counsel are there to help; make sure you understand what they are saying and that you fully comprehend every decision in a settlement. Ask questions until everything is clear.

You may have to stumble before you can pick yourself up again to get back on track. Do not blame others; accept your responsibility in the process.

Your life with a spouse is about to be over. See that your parting wishes to each other are positive and characterized by a sincere attempt to collaborate fairly. It will make your new life start on a positive and bright path to future happiness. There are mediators available to help you get over the bumps in the road. Divorce may be the death of a relationship, but can be the rebirth of a new and exciting life.

Source: Huffington Post, "10 Things to Remember When You are Getting a Divorce" Jim Halfens, Feb. 25, 2014

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DeShon Laraye Pullen PLC and founding attorney DeShon Laraye Pullen received many prestigious honors, including: Small Firm of the Year, Family Law Litigator of the Year, selection to Arizona Super Lawyers and a Superb, 10.0 Avvo rating.

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