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Pre-divorce conversations: Necessary, yet difficult

Part of wedding planning should involve a couple sitting down and asking each other various questions. Discussing issues up front can help strengthen the groundwork of a pending marriage.

Divorce statistics being what they are, at least half of married couples will have to deal with the end of their marriages. During that time, the last thing they want to do is talk, with or without help from a marriage counselor.

However, getting issues out in the open before retaining legal counsel could help them move towards an amicable split or perhaps save the marriage. In the end, every effort should be made to make the relationship work before pursuing dissolution.

Albeit awkward, certain questions can help find the answers you need.

Can the marriage be saved?

You and your souse can make two lists. One that involves the steps to save the marriage. The other being what you both can do to save the marriage. Documenting things independently can reveal common ground, if any exists.

Would you be happier married or divorced?

Before making any decision, you want to get a clear idea of what is important in your life, whether you are married or not. Perhaps the physical relationship with your spouse is not of any interest. Yet, their parenting skills, willingness to help around the house, or mere companionship may make up for the lack of intimacy.

Does love still exist?

Even a “yes” does not take away the possibility of divorce. People marry and divorce for different reasons. Far too many divorces become contentious when one spouse remains in love with the other, yet the feelings are not returned.

Are you prepared for the stress that divorce brings?

Whether you worry about finances or the day-to-day tasks one spouse used to handle, significant life changes bring anxiety. Pre-planning plays a key role in answering that question and preparing you for the transition.

How do I ensure that history does not repeat itself?

The problem may not be the marriage itself. One spouse bored with the other will likely lead to the same boredom in a subsequent relationship. Conflicts can easily repeat themselves. Acknowledging your contribution in a marriage’s failure can help build a better foundation for a new one.

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DeShon Laraye Pullen PLC and founding attorney DeShon Laraye Pullen received many prestigious honors, including: Small Firm of the Year, Family Law Litigator of the Year, selection to Arizona Super Lawyers and a Superb, 10.0 Avvo rating.

Rated by Super Lawyers | Deshon Pullen AVVO Rating 10.0 Superb | Top Attorney Family AVVO Clients Choice 2012 | Family Super Lawyers Attorney At Law Magazine | Specialty Law Firm Deshon Pullen Sustain Member | Arizona's Finest Lawyers Top Lawyer 2013