Why do many feel so defeated after a divorce?

If you’re like some of our readers then you’ve probably read an advice column at some point in your life in which a person has written in about their struggles during a divorce. In that short article you are offered a rare glimpse into another person’s life. And whether you’ve gone through a divorce yourself or not, you tend to empathize with what that person is going through.

For many of our readers here in Phoenix it’s not difficult to empathize with the person who writes in because our readers are usually experiencing the same struggles. But even though we know that every divorce is different, why is it that so many seem to end abruptly and in similar ways? Why is it that so many spouses are willing to throw in the towel before the divorce dust settles?

Many people in Arizona, as well as across the nation, often describe the divorce process as a marathon mixed with a boxing match. Often lengthy and riddled with potential conflicts, some people are simply caught off guard by these difficulties because of their mindset prior to a divorce. Some may go into the process expecting things to go smoothly and are surprised when they do not. And in many cases, these are the situations that most readers hear about more than the successful, non-stressful ones.

Often times it is this stress that causes many to throw in the towel and accept settlements that are less-than favorable to their situation. Some experts believe this happens when one spouse comes to the negotiation table unprepared both emotionally and physically. As we just said above, the divorce process can sometimes take awhile before a resolution is met. Emotional fatigue and even illness can all work against a person who does not have the bigger picture in mind.

Although there are probably a dozen other stresses that can cause someone to call it quits early, we felt it important to point out one that can be found across the nation: lack of support. Whether it’s support from family and friends or a person’s own attorney, not having a person to go to when things get difficult can sometimes cause a person to make a decision they might regret later. And while some decisions can be altered later through further litigation, some people may find it less of a hassle to deal with these issues now rather than later.

Source: Forbes, “How to Stay Strong And Get What You Deserve In a Divorce,” Robert Pagliarini, March 25, 2014

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