Marriages are meant to be forever, but we all know that is not always the case. In today’s world, getting a divorce is almost as common as getting married. However, in many divorces, the two people involved don’t suddenly decide they both want a divorce. It is usually initiated by one, and the other is ready and in agreement, or not.
When only one party wants a divorce, it is not only awkward, but plain difficult to even approach the subject. How should Arizona couples handle this?
With care and caution. If you are thinking about a divorce, and suspect your spouse is not going to take the news well, consider seeking professional help. You might want to speak to a counselor to ensure this is what you really want. Revisiting and discussing your reasons can either assure that you are making the right move, or it could help you refocus on making your marriage work. Either way, it can help validate your decision and give you more confidence.
Be caring and compassionate in the way you break the news to your spouse. This can go a long way in how the divorce process and proceedings play out, as well as the emotional stability of both you and your spouse — and children if you have any. Most spouses will need time to process the information. Their initial reaction to ending the marriage may be shock, anger, defensiveness, withdrawal or accusations. Keep in mind that you have probably been contemplating and processing this division for some time. It is only natural that he or she needs time as well. Let him or her absorb the shock and don’t push to just “get it over with.”
Keep the lines of communication open with your spouse. Be honest and open about your reasons but also be compassionate. Validate your spouse’s feelings and try to understand. Many people put up a wall to avoid dealing with the emotions of their spouse, but this will only make things worse.
Remember, that you still need to work with your spouse during the divorce process and sometimes even after when children are involved. Division of assets and property, parental visitation, child support and alimony may be issues that will have to be worked out between you, your spouse and your attorneys. These issues go much smoother when cordial parties are involved.
Source: The Huffington Post, “5 Things to Do If You Want a Divorce But Your Husband Doesn’t” Cheryl and Joe Dillon, Oct. 16, 2014