At DeShon Laraye Pullen PLC, we are divorce attorneys – not therapists – but we understand that the pain of a divorce or separation is inseparable from the legal process. Beyond the legal work we are hired for, we care about the overall wellness of our clients and know that the right road is often not the easiest.
We summarized the findings of a Northwestern University study about the pain of breakups. We hope that it provides value to you in a difficult time.
Popular belief: Do not dwell on your breakup. Avoid thinking about it to help you move on with your life.
What the study found: People who were repeatedly reminded about their breakup and asked to reflect on it had better overall recovery from it.
Why? Healing from a divorce involves self-concept reorganization, a process where you see and define yourself separate from your former spouse. This process is so hard because, in marriage, you emotionally intertwine your concept of self with your spouse.
Being consistently reminded of your divorce and talking about it helps you reorganize your concept of self more quickly, according to the new research.
What can you do? It is natural for people to confide in others for support during the divorce process. Even well-intentioned friends and family members can give us bad advice. Momentary distractions from your breakup can be healthy, but don’t let anybody tell you that the best way to heal is to forget about your dissolving marriage.
Confide in friends and family members, and don’t be afraid to share this study with them. Also, we highly recommend professional counseling or therapy for you and any children affected by the breakup.
If you need an Arizona divorce attorney’s help, call us; we offer free consultations. We will help you understand every available option before you make decisions.